Let's face it, we have all been really drunk and made some mistakes. This is part of being human. The good news is that a lot of times, when you act a fool, your friends are in a similar state of mind and probably weren't concerned with you being you. Unfortunately, the mass proliferation of digital camera ownership increases the chance that your douchery will be forever remembered. So while you and your buddies may not remember how stupid you acted, fake humping Marty at the club, or pissing your girlfriend (at the time)'s bed, the camera always will. It is time to start stepping up your drunk game so you won't end up like these poor fools below.
Have you been caught in one of these situations?
Ah, the classic tale of revenge. You have been a dickhole all night, starting fights, slapping girls asses and missing the toilet with your projectile vomit. Everyone hates you, and now is their chance to show it. It beings innocently with a dick drawing on the cheek, then a few strategically placed “I heart penis” notations. But when you wake up, your underwear have been cut off of your lifeless body and you look like a walking Pollock painting…it might be time to send out a mass text and check if you still have any friends.
Though your dance session seemed “so hot” last night, I can assure you that the photo documentation was not.
Girls: “Backing it up” was indeed a safe foreplay maneuver, but didn’t do much for your pride. You basically got dry humped doggy-style in public view.
Guys: When on the dance floor at a club, more times than not, you look like you are either a) attempting to sink your haunches into a lucky lady the way a hyper poodle does to his owners leg or b) holding on for dear life because you have no idea what she is doing with her hips. Also, resist the urge to “throw your hands in the air” when the cameras are out as your armpits are usually sweating like you just took four hits of Ecstasy.
You know what they say: If you can’t party with them, party AROUND them. This rogue clubber seems to find his way into the background of everyone else’s photos, making his presence known typically with a peace sign, a “peace out” sign, or the “rock on” horns. Who is this guy? What happened to his friends? Doesn’t he work the Carl’s Jr. drive-thru? No one really knows the answers to these questions. What we do know is that he is hell-bent on fucking up the photos of all patrons better looking and more popular than him.
You're a stud right? Got your sweet hair cut, and a casual button-down shirt that tells the ladies that you’re no slob...but also that you don't take life out of the office too seriously. Weekends = Party time. Oh Yeah! We're going out tonight boys and we're going to raise hell. You spend all night buying hot girls drinks but too no avail and start to get a bit loose yourself...thinking there's got to be a girl in this spot that's as hammered as you are.
Then you find her and start dirty dancing to Best of Summer Hits 2003 (you use a dance you learned while in Cabo during that year's Spring Break to woo her), and the next thing you know you are playing tonsil hockey in the middle of a crowded room and hands start a wandering. You’re having fun, you are in the prime of your life. No big deal right? Sure buddy. Until the picture of you motor-boating a stranger finds its way to the company mail server.
    
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