Dissing the Deep: Freaky Fish

Posted by Rainbow Fisher Guy on March 31, 2008 in Fishing stories

It’s a bit unfair to insult these creatures, especially since, for all we know, we caught the ugliest ones of the species. As fish get more freaky, they tend to get more rare, so it’s hard to tell. Imagine if aliens landed for a quick science and data gathering expedition, and came across Carrot Top, took some photos, went back to their home planet, and said “Hey little aliens, this is what ‘humans’ look like”. And they’d be all like “gross!” That caveat now out in the open, it’s time to tear these freaks a new one.

Blob Freaks
They’re lucky they can float around underwater. On land, these fat boys wouldn’t be able to get off the couch.

Angler

Official mascot for the NBA

California Sheephead

Worst sweaters ever.

Blobfish

Fang Faces
I vant, to bite, your eyes. A pile of spikes with a creature attached.

Fangtooth

Scaly Dragonfish

Fugly
Gah. The kind of fish we’d wipe out if we didn’t always throw them back after we caught them and saw their ugly faces.

Coffinfish

“Did you just fart?” “Sorry, I had souvlaki for lunch.”

Bat Fish

“Honey I swear I’m not cheating on you! The lipstick is from the fish. It was the fish I tells ya!”

Scorpion Fish

When hiding from its prey, the Vomit fish takes on the shape of last night’s dinner. Looks like it exploded.

Leopard Toadfish

Preparing to shoot cosmic deathbeams from its eyes.

Moray Eel