A woman walks into a pharmacy and tells the pharmacist that she needs some cyanide right away.
The pharmacist is naturally concerned by such a request, and asks: “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
So, the woman explains to him that she needs it in order to poison her husband.
The pharmacist, pale from shock, and with a frozen expression on his face, says:
“I can't give you any cyanide to kill your husband! That is against the law and I would lose my license! They would throw both of us in jail and God knows what else would happen. My answer is Absolutely Not! You cannot have any cyanide!”
Without a word, the woman reaches into her purse, and pulls out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looks at the picture and calmly responds:
“Well, now Madam. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.”
A guy phones the local hospital and yells, “You've gotta send help! My wife's in labour!”
The nurse says, “Calm down. Is this her first child?”
He replies, “No! This is her husband!”
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, “That's not it” and put it down again.
This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, “That's it.”
